new art...

I had a need for something new in my house. My facebook friend Pixie was having a special and I jumped right on it when I saw her masterpieces. It makes me want to paint. I was inspired and felt peace and joy when I looked at her work.

Check out these amazing paintings I just bought!

Intuition Guides - Raven

For change and movement ahead, intuition guides the way.
Raven intelligently seeks his fortune methodically and playfully.
Use creative means to determine what is next. Know what you need.

Warrior - Great Horned Owl

Owl as Warrior is best expressed by Great Horned Owl.
Fierce and feared, he can be called in for any task requiring resolution,
to hold the front lines. Great Horned Owl sees straight through
to the core of imbalance, revealing the root of the conflict,
as well as how to solve it. He understands how to implement the
changes needed to bring about fruition.

Once he has successfully overcome his issue,
he takes graceful flight toward the moon,
bringing the feminine energies back,
to balance the exertion of masculine energies
needed to fight the intense battle.
The medicine of Great Horned Owl is to wage war
only when absolutely necessary: for survival of the soul and it's purpose.
He effectively releases the ties that bind.
Call upon Great Horned Owl when standing up to the disparaging voices within or
to fight for a worthy cause dear to your heart.

Her descriptions are so perfect and I resonated with them for gifts for friends. I won't say who so they are still surprises, but I got one for them and one of each for myself. What a gift!

If you're interested in her work, her shop is here.

Enjoy!

grateful for the Mr.

yes, it's one of those posts.

I was just in my home state for a total of 48 hours. I was grateful to see my family, spend time telling stories and laughing, but there is always something missing.

The Mr.

He rarely comes because of school
and he's allergic to the Mama's puppies

We are both rather independent people, rarely talk on the phone when I'm gone because he is normally locked inside the library, or I'm on the go until after he goes to bed. So we text the entire trip, or text when he isn't studying.

But coming home to him is such a dream.
I had driven home from Long Beach (1.5 hours) and didn't even go home before I stopped at Costco and the Mexican Market for our weekly grocery shopping because I knew I wouldn't be able to do it any other time. I just kept telling myself "as soon as I finish shopping, I can go home and shower and get in bed". This is at 2pm, mind you. I knew the Mr. wouldn't be home until 6 or 7, so after I got home, put the groceries away and showered, I put myself to bed with my laptop to watch some shows and relax. My favorite activity after an eventful weekend in Utah, followed by a 12 hour car ride.

B got home at 8, and I felt this surge of energy, breath of fresh air. I finally get to see him. That is the best feeling and yet there are no words to describe finally seeing your husband after a short trip, and yet it felt like it was forever.

This is a sappy post.
get over it.
I feel grateful.

On another note, I was reminded during my trip to Utah, that everything is perfect.
And yes, everything is perfect.

today....

I want a sewing machine. I want to make pillow cases and curtains and little girl dresses and take pictures of the little girl in the little girl dresses. and I want to make pillow cases with flowers that are a soft white with big mustard yellow flowers and paint my walls.

I'm becoming that woman
what am I going to do with myself?

{almost} figuring it out

I sometimes feel like I'm still figuring out who I am.

maybe it's a life long process and I didn't realize it before

Sometimes I dream about living in a little cottage where I can have a garden, field, paint my walls a different color every month...allow my inner hippie to come out.

Then sometimes I want to live in the city where I can shop at MAC and Nordy's all the time and occasionally go dancing....

Maybe I want something in-between. A darling little house in the suburbs, with beautiful grass and trees, a garden with tomatoes, zucchini, carrots...and I can paint the walls every month if I want to (although, if you know me. I won't. I think of a project, start it and it is too big to finish. so maybe I'll paint once). And I'm go running with my twin baby stroller through the neighborhood.

I feel like I'm having an identity crisis. I'm loving school, but what do I want to do after? I DON'T KNOW! I want to have a baby(ies) soon, but part of me feels so cliche and something I never said I would do; having a baby right after I graduate. But by then I will be nearly 30, and my baby monitor is screaming!

I'm just me. not just as in JUST, but that's all I can be. Some days I'm a hippie, some days I'm girly and prissy. And everyday, I'm ME, no matter what.

I think I feel like I'm having a 27 year old midlife crisis. The husband and I do the same thing every day. We go to school, work, homework, if we're lucky enough to have dinner, together, homework, watch a tv show, go to bed...start all over again. We both are feeling tired. Tired of school, and ready for it to be over. And yet at the same time I want to cherish this time and enjoy it. Sounds like a double negative.

I have dreams of being at home with my {twin} babies, focusing only on them, holding both in my arms, blogging about them, taking pictures of them. Then I think, am I ok with being a full time mom? I want to be, but I guess I always told myself that was bad. Women are to have careers, be successful, have foundations....I guess I can do all of that still.

I guess I'm struggling with who I am as a feminist. I've learned all these new ideas, and I agree with a lot of them. Is it bad that I want my man to take care of me? That's so non-feminist.

like I said, {almost} figuring it out.

these are the things going through my head right now.
oh, and I'm obsessed with twins right now. I just have that feeling.

I'm grateful in my confusion.

I dream...

lately I've been dreaming a lot about:

after I graduate from school....will I go on to get a masters? In what? Do I really want to? IN WHAT?

when B graduates....then what? He's going to be a LAWYER. Like a real one. That doesn't seem real.

when we decide to have children. Will that ever come? Can I do it? All I read/hear about are sleepless nights, cranky babies, cranky mommies. Am I up for the challenge? Can I do it?

being a really good photographer. I don't want to be mediocre. I want to really be good and know what I'm doing instead of pretending.

photographing my children. See? there I go again with this baby stuff. I want a baby to photograph. There is a baby who lives below us. The parents are quite shy and rarely talk. Even if I talk to them. I can hear their baby voices and happy baby laughs all day long. I love it. I want to knock on their door and say "hi. I know you don't know me. but can I snuggle your baby for a bit and take pictures of her? Thanks!"

do I get a masters first or have a baby? if I have a baby will I get a masters? If I get a masters will I have a baby?

oh, and dreaming about the cruise we just booked for our 1st anniversary! I'm already planning the swimsuits and cute cover ups...

I think about all the wonderful things we're doing in our lives right now and I know we couldn't do them with a baby. I am really understanding that I was programmed that I have to have a baby right after I get married. Obviously, I don't like following the norm, hence where I am in my life right now. So for now, it's perfect that I don't have a baby right now. But that doesn't make me googoo gaagaa over them.

so for right now. I'm grateful for where I am in my life. Everything is perfect.

Top TEN in 2010

2010 was an amazing year for us.

Here are our Top 10 moments.

10.
Ben did amazing in school. He made Distinguished Honor Roll
(meaning he was in the top 10% of the whole school)
Julia started her first semester at SDSU and did great (4.0)

9.
Julia finished a "ton" of races. like 5. I didn't keep count, and probably should have, but I was proud with how many I did. And they were all spontaneous.



This is the longest one I did, and decided to do it the day before. My first 10k and it was seriously hot outside!

8.
I surprised Ben for his birthday with Disneyland tickets (that we got for free from volunteering, but he didn't know we got the tickets because we almost didn't...long story)


7.
We went to Ridgecrest, CA to see Ben's hometown and his mom and brother.
We had a great time hiking and chatting!


6.
I went to Champagne, Illinois with my Aunt Patricia. I got to see my dad's side of the family that I hardly know. It was so fun!!






5.
Christmas in New York.
When my friend Blake called to tell me he was leaving New York in 6 months to a year, I knew we had to jump on that invitation of staying with him. So we decided that would be our Christmas gift.

We had so much fun and tried to fit everything we could into the trip. The (32 degree) weather was perfect. We never got snowed on, and missed all the rain in California.


And in the same trip we went to DC to visit some friends.

4.
All the siblings together again for the first time in 3 years.
We had a lot of fun at Christmas telling stories.


3.
Changing our eating habits
and learning how to cook yummy vegetarian meals.


2.
Honeymoon in Mazatlan, MX!
We were truely blessed to have been given our honeymoon as a wedding gift
from a wonderful friend.
We had such a great time exploring the city, countless $13 massages, pool side drinks and meeting new people.



Number 1 thing of 2010:
our beautiful wedding!

We got married in the San Diego Harbor on a wonderful Sunday afternoon.
Our close friends and family joined us and everything was absolutely perfect!




And to close out 2010, on New Years Eve, we made our vision boards for 2011!

What Ben is creating:

What Julia is creating:


Our goals for 2011:
Ben: To network more with the law community
Julia: to do something new every month
and take a photo every Saturday.

I think I just had a mild heart attack...

So. There I am. Sitting HERE, at my desk. not doing my homework, home alone, browsing the internet, looking at blogs, surfing facebook, then clicking on my speech outline for Tuesday's group speech...back to facebook...

AND ALL OF A SUDDEN...

There was this LOUD noise outside my apartment. It sounded like a mixture between someone running/stomping right outside my apartment and someone banging along the entire outside wall of our apartment. and it was LONG. not like "oh someone just fell and tripped" but like a LONG run/stomp. like 7 seconds long. like there was an emergency, or someone was really trying to make my heart jump out of my throat. I felt personally attacked.

Was there an emergency? Were cops banging on someone's door? GEEZ!

So I run over to my door. As I'm looking out the peep hole, and slowly locking the door (because I didn't want THEM to hear me locking it). There is nothing. No doors open, no people, no movement. NOTHING. Then there is a loud noise again. Now I'm thinking there is a bad guy, against the wall where I can't see him, and he's going to jump out at me... the me behind the peep hole. But still no movement.

When I remembered to start breathing again, I sllowwllyy opened the door... look outside... and there is a CAT looking at me from the roof! It must have had a jumping fest over my head which caused me to nearly soil myself.