lately I've been dreaming a lot about:
after I graduate from school....will I go on to get a masters? In what? Do I really want to? IN WHAT?
when B graduates....then what? He's going to be a LAWYER. Like a real one. That doesn't seem real.
when we decide to have children. Will that ever come? Can I do it? All I read/hear about are sleepless nights, cranky babies, cranky mommies. Am I up for the challenge? Can I do it?
being a really good photographer. I don't want to be mediocre. I want to really be good and know what I'm doing instead of pretending.
photographing my children. See? there I go again with this baby stuff. I want a baby to photograph. There is a baby who lives below us. The parents are quite shy and rarely talk. Even if I talk to them. I can hear their baby voices and happy baby laughs all day long. I love it. I want to knock on their door and say "hi. I know you don't know me. but can I snuggle your baby for a bit and take pictures of her? Thanks!"
do I get a masters first or have a baby? if I have a baby will I get a masters? If I get a masters will I have a baby?
oh, and dreaming about the cruise we just booked for our 1st anniversary! I'm already planning the swimsuits and cute cover ups...
I think about all the wonderful things we're doing in our lives right now and I know we couldn't do them with a baby. I am really understanding that I was programmed that I have to have a baby right after I get married. Obviously, I don't like following the norm, hence where I am in my life right now. So for now, it's perfect that I don't have a baby right now. But that doesn't make me googoo gaagaa over them.
so for right now. I'm grateful for where I am in my life. Everything is perfect.
