February 10, 2011

I dream...

lately I've been dreaming a lot about:

after I graduate from school....will I go on to get a masters? In what? Do I really want to? IN WHAT?

when B graduates....then what? He's going to be a LAWYER. Like a real one. That doesn't seem real.

when we decide to have children. Will that ever come? Can I do it? All I read/hear about are sleepless nights, cranky babies, cranky mommies. Am I up for the challenge? Can I do it?

being a really good photographer. I don't want to be mediocre. I want to really be good and know what I'm doing instead of pretending.

photographing my children. See? there I go again with this baby stuff. I want a baby to photograph. There is a baby who lives below us. The parents are quite shy and rarely talk. Even if I talk to them. I can hear their baby voices and happy baby laughs all day long. I love it. I want to knock on their door and say "hi. I know you don't know me. but can I snuggle your baby for a bit and take pictures of her? Thanks!"

do I get a masters first or have a baby? if I have a baby will I get a masters? If I get a masters will I have a baby?

oh, and dreaming about the cruise we just booked for our 1st anniversary! I'm already planning the swimsuits and cute cover ups...

I think about all the wonderful things we're doing in our lives right now and I know we couldn't do them with a baby. I am really understanding that I was programmed that I have to have a baby right after I get married. Obviously, I don't like following the norm, hence where I am in my life right now. So for now, it's perfect that I don't have a baby right now. But that doesn't make me googoo gaagaa over them.

so for right now. I'm grateful for where I am in my life. Everything is perfect.

5 blurbs:

Kayce and Scott said...

Amen about not being able to picture real life after graduation! Scott's going to be an engineer? Really?
Yay for happy. And I think, when the time is right for you, you'll be a great mommy. If you lived in Utah I would let you snuggle and photograph my baby all you want =)

Lianne said...

I just want to go on the record that I didn't do the programming that you had to have a baby right after you got married. :)

What I know about you is that whatever you decide to do you will do it magnificently, because that is the way you do EVERYTHING.

Oh, I'd love to be a grandmother, but on your timing. No pressure. I'll go sniff the downstairs lady's baby. No worries. :)

Gillian Mohlman said...

I love this post. So cute. You are a doll. I want a baby too... Hopefully I can convince my husband really really soon! haha.

Ok, about the tooth thing. Yes, it's painful. But, the screw part wasn't as bad as the first part of the surgery. I think the reason mine hurts so bad is because I got the screw in, I had to get a root canal and they had to chip some bone away that had infection in it. I also have TMJ (lock jaw) and so my jaw is very sensitive to pain.

I have heard other people doing it a lot and I haven't heard that it's been too bad for them. Maybe just try doing one tooth, and it you have a lot of pain, don't do the other tooth. I honestly don't think mine would have been that bad if I didn't have to do the first part of my surgery.

Hope you have a great day!!! your awesome.

Gillian Mohlman said...

BTW- the whole story behind my tooth fiasco is written on my blog right here: http://kevinandgillian.blogspot.com/2011/01/tooth-fiasco-warning-graphic.html

Then you can read the whole story as to why I am missing my tooth there now. I will get a tooth on the screw in 2 months once the bone has had time to heal around the screw.

Sarah H. said...

I also think about all of that stuff too much. I am a sociology major and still working on my undergrade...but what am I supposed to do with my degree? It's not like going to school to be a lawyer, doctor or teacher. So then what? Babies? But what about my trip to Venice? Yeah, I am so with you on this!! Great post!