May 29, 2012

Without you

I only have to make one side of the bed...but that means you weren't there next to me.
I can watch whatever I want...but that means you weren't there to watch it with me.
One cooked meal that used to be shared between us has turned into 3 meals for just me...
because you weren't here to eat it with me.
I only did one load of laundry this week...but that means you weren't here with me.
Yesterday was your birthday and I texted you all the special things I was doing just
for your special day...but that means I did them without you.
Yesterday you went and got a special birthday Frosty....but without me.
 I parked your car right under our window so I can always see it. It's covered in leaves,
dirt and rain drops....all reminders that you're not here to drive it.
I climbed up on the desk to pull the big plant down to water it...which means
you weren't here to pull it down for me.

I miss you my sweet.
You're where you're supposed to be, and I'm where I'm supposed to be.
Everything is perfect and I get to see you in a month.
I love you.

May 22, 2012

The hubs is MIA

....well not really. He's in Baltimore, in da HOOD! No really, like really he's in da hood. His first day there his roommate, who we will call Carl, had stumbled in around 8am and passed out drunk in the living room with his earphones in and blaring loud music and tapping his foot to the beat. Ben said he tried to wake him up because he wasn't sure if he was alive, and he didn't wake up, but his foot kept tapping. Drunk reflexes? Who knows...

Maybe I should leave the rest of his stories for him to tell. They are pretty good. Basically, when I go out there to visit, I won't be allowed out of the house unless accompanied by him. So my dreams of having independent exploring adventures while in Baltimore will be limited.

How am I doing sans husband, you ask? With each day it gets better. The first day I tried to tell myself that it was just like it was at school. I had friends in town who went for some surfing lessons. This allowed me time on the beach to process and have my alone time to cry under my big pink floppy hat. It was so perfect because I needed that. I needed the time to hand it over to my higher power and meditate about it. I understood that everything is perfect, and even hard things can sometimes be hard. Then a parasail that was a big yellow smiley face went by, and it was confirmed even deeper that everything will be taken care of.

He is enjoying the internship at the courthouse, but says his fellow inters are really shy and quiet. I dared him to be crazy and fun and try to crack their shells. I'm excited for those stories. He even said he may take up some writing here on the ol' blog.

On a good note, sans husband means my distractions include workouts, trips to the beach, and I get to watch whatever I want! And school is starting tomorrow for me, so hopefully that will allow more distractions.

Here's to day 4!